A special blogpost dedicated to my precious mama and baba.
In his Tafsīr, Ibn ʿAbbās narrates that there are three things which are often paired in the Qur`ān, this pairing indicates a necessary condition; for one act of worship to be sound it is absolutely necessary for the other to be performed.
One such pairing is gratitude to Allāh first, and then to ones parents. If you are grateful to Allāh (a hefty task in itself!), this act is void if you are ungrateful and disobedient to your parents. (!)
This pairing appears in an āyah from sūrah Luqmān; a sūrah which is named after a wise man and an exemplary father, but it tells us about mothers who surpass:
[And We have enjoined upon man (care) for his parents. His mother carried him, (increasing her) in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the (final) destination] Luqmān:14
So how does one show gratitude to Allāh and then to one’s parents – without falling short in either duty?
Answer is in this excerpt from Tafsīr aṭ–Ṭabarī:
❝Whoever prays his five obligatory prayers, then he has shown gratitude to Allāh. And whoever supplicates for his parents after each of these prayers then he has shown gratitude to his parents.❞ — Ibn ʿayiyna.
=)
Now a question that people often ask: Why such emphasis on excellence to parents?
With abuse and neglect within families on the rise, people often wonder why parents aren’t reproached and reminded about their duty of kindness to their children.
A scholar, may Allāh preserve him, mentioned this in a dars, he said, [paraphrasing],
❝Love and kindness to one’s child is coded into the fiṭrah (natural disposition) of mankind. Parents love and care for their child –they don’t need reminding. Parental abuse is but a perfect example of the disorder and chaos that results when man goes against his fiṭrah. When he goes against the direct command of Allāh.❞
And the worst perversion resulting in going against the fiṭrah is Shirk; associating partners with Allāh.
In light of this, go and read the āyah from sūrah Luqmān again. Reflect how gratitude to Allāh by obeying and submitting to Him alone (i.e. implementing Tawḥīd) will enable one to be an exemplary parent. And child. And human being.
The next āyah guides us to the best course of action when parental rights are abused in the worst possible manner:
[But if they strive to make you associate (partners) with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in (this) world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me (in repentance). Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.] Luqmān:15
Final thoughts: Try to fathom the greatness of Birr bil Walidayn (excellence to parents) – after all your parents are your gateway to Jannah. =)
Note: ‘Man’ referring to mankind: both men and women.
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